Among his other notorious characteristics are his voracious appetite in general, a deep, growly voice, mangy blue fur, unruly eyeballs, and use of crude grammar in speech. Aside from these sufficiently distasteful characteristics, the most troubling aspect of his nature is one particular antic and the manner in which it is accomplished - the eating of the Letter of the Day. The Letter of the Day is a routine segment in Sesame Street in which the Cookie Monster presents the day's designated letter of the alphabet, written in icing on a large cookie. Then, despite his attempts at self-restraint, he proceeds to devour the baked treat as he is overcome by temptation.
The offense is committed within a flurry of mere seconds, amidst a growly "OM-NOM-NOM-NOM-NOM" and violent flapping of a folding black felt circle of a mouth. Regardless of how many times I have seen it happen, the sheer boorishness of the sight never fails to leave my entire person in a state of trauma. I consider myself to be a cognizant, dutiful citizen of society, and I cannot help but to bring about difficult questions, such as "Should children be watching subject material of such disturbing nature?" Perhaps such content inadvertently communicates to children the message that maniacal Muppets with severe cookie addictions and disrespectul habits are perfectly acceptable, contributing members of society. What kind of behavior would this encourage in young children? The answer is clear : none too pleasant.
Furthermore, the Cookie Monster's addiction to cookies no doubt encourages poor eating habits. Many a year upon gluttonous year of uncurbed, unrestrained consumption of scrumptious, fat-rich cookies has left him with an elephantine amount of surplus tallow underneath his shabby coat of fur:
That, my friends, is nasty. With childhood obesity already on the rise in our country, the Cookie Monster, for obvious reasons, should in no manner be raised to any social post considered to be of role model material for kids.
Sesame street colleagues of Mr. CM have also expressed grave concern as to the nature of this most pressing matter.
"Absolutely disgusting," said fellow Muppet Elmo to reporters at a recent dinner for celebrity children's show characters. "He's an embarrassment to Sesame Street and its declared purpose as an educational medium." Elmo declined to further elaborate as to the reasons for his new bad blood with his co-star, but I for one am certain that Elmo has evidently realized the abomination that is the Cookie Monster. He is a menace to society.
In conclusion, I leave you with not a conclusion or solution, but a pressing and resounding question, "Will we allow this monstrous misdeed to be continued before our very noses?"
2 Comments:
DID YOU KNOW they actually have him saying things like "cookies are sometimes good but vegitables are best" on the show now? Yup. BUT is that really a sign of improvement, or another indication that society's preoccupation with food and diet is infultrating every aspect of modern life? *le sigh*
By
Anonymous, at 5:08 PM, July 17, 2006
I could have sworn he did a rap for vegetables. But he kinda overdid it when he won the fuzzy awards for his music video: C is for Cookie. Where he aparently dressed as an egyptian GODDESS... Now, not only does he have an addiction, he's also got gender issues.
By
Czach, at 9:57 AM, August 09, 2006
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